When Sinners Sin
by angellwings
Summary: Natella. "Peggy had warned her. She'd told her that being such good friends with a guy she'd been in love with for years would not end well, but Ella hadn't listened." For LaPaige's challenge. Based on the NJ&TA song "While the World is Spinning."


**A/N:** for LaPaige's prompt #77: Circle. (Circle made me think of spinning, haha.) The song used in this fic is **"While the World is Spinning" by Nick Jonas & The Administration**.

_

* * *

When Sinners Sin_

By angellwings

* * *

Ella walked into her office that morning to find Nate sitting in one of the chairs across from her desk. He visited her a lot, but usually he waited until her office hours _started_ to show up. She set her things down on her desk and noticed he was staring into space. Clearly, he was thinking about something. She cleared her throat. He blinked and slowly turned to face her.

"Good morning, Nate. I see you unlocked my office for me," She said teasingly.

He gave her a small smile. "Your assistant let me in. Did you know she gets here at 7 AM every morning? What could she possibly have to do for two whole hours before you're even scheduled to be here?"

Ella shrugged. "You should ask Peggy that question. We share her."

"You and Peggy share an assistant?" Nate asked with an amused grin. "_Why_?"

"Neither of us need an assistant for a whole day so Peggy has her for a few hours a day and then I have her for a few hours," Ella said with a smile as she tried to organize her already messy desk. "That way Lila gets a whole days pay out of it."

He nodded. "Makes sense, I guess."

"So," She said as she sighed and gave up on her desk. She sat down and looked at him expectantly. "What do you need, Nate?"

"I can't just come to visit?" He asked.

She chuckled. "You can, you know you can, but you never do. You always show up when you need to talk or when you have big news. So which is it? Talk or big news?"

He huffed. "Talk."

"I don't like the sound of that," Ella said slowly as she watched him stand up and then close her office door. "And I especially don't like that this _talk_ requires a closed door. What's going on?"

He sighed. "It's Dana…"

"Nate, you still haven't talked to her yet?" Ella asked in a scolding tone.

"I—I can't. You should see the way she looks at me, El. I don't want to hurt her," He admitted. "Maybe I'll get over whatever this is, you know? Maybe I'm just in a slump—"

Ella rolled her eyes. "Nate, you know better than that. If you don't have feelings for Dana anymore then you need to tell her."

"I feel like such a jerk, though. I mean what do I say to her? 'Hey, so you know how we've been dating for, well, _forever_? Yeah, I'm not feeling it anymore. See ya around, Dain!' She'll _hate_ me," Nate said with a groan.

"If you _ever_ said that to her even _I_ would kick your ass," Ella told him as she shook her head.

"See? So, how am I supposed to say something like that to her?" Nate asked as he ran a hand through his curls. "I just don't understand what happened. I mean, we were fine. We've been dating for so long and we've never had any problems. She's never been jealous, never caused unwanted drama, or acted like she was only after me for the fame and the money. She's _perfect_, and yet…there's _nothing_ there anymore."

Ella turned a sympathetic gaze on him as he buried his face in his hands. She stood and walked around the desk to sit on her knees in front of him as he hunched forward in the chair. She pulled his hands away from his face and looked him in the eyes. She spoke softly as she briefly squeezed his hands, "Nate, sometimes the chemistry's just not there. It's not anyone's fault. You can _want_ it to work with all your heart, but sometimes…it just _doesn't_. That's all there is to it. But if you _know_ your relationship with Dana isn't going to go anywhere then you _have_ to tell her. You can't lead her on. That's cruel."

"I knew there was a reason I never liked chemistry," Nate muttered darkly. Ella cracked a smile and laughed lightly.

"You made a funny. I'm shocked."

He rolled his eyes. "I _do_ have a sense of humor, you know."

"I know, you just never use it," She said with a teasing grin.

"Gee, thanks," He said sarcastically. "What a weird way to kick me when I'm down."

"You're welcome. Feel better now?" Ella asked as she squeezed his hands one last time.

He gave her half of a smile. "A little, yes."

"Good, now get out," Ella said teasingly. "I have work to do."

She released his hands and returned to her desk and he shook his head in amusement. "You need to stop spending so much time with Caitlyn."

She gave him an innocent smile. "But why? I'm learning so much from her."

He rolled his eyes again. "The last thing we need around here is another Caitlyn."

Ella laughed. "You know you love her."

"No, I don't know that," Nate said with a smirk. "I really don't."

"Okay, Mister, you need to go. And don't come back until you've had a certain talk with Dana," Ella said with a stern glare as she pointed to her office door.

"I don't know, I was thinking I might hang out for a bit. It _is_ my day off after all," He said teasingly. "I could just chill here for—"

Ella stood and opened the door and motioned out of it. "Nope, you can't. Go."

He laughed and paused in her doorway, "Thanks Ella. Really."

She shrugged. "What are friends for, Nate?"

He suddenly leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek only Ella didn't see it coming and she turned to say something else. His lips accidentally brushed hers. Ella gasped and jumped away.

"S—sorry!" She exclaimed with a gulp. "I—I—that was an accident I swear."

Her cheeks were flushed in embarrassment and she looked up at him with wide nervous eyes. He took the door knob from her and closed the door. He _knew_ he shouldn't be thinking about doing this, but he was. He couldn't seem to stop himself. He took a purposeful step toward her once the door was closed, and he was surprised when she didn't move away. He brought his lips to hers again before he could talk himself out of it. Ella tensed, but relaxed a second later when his arms wrapped around her waist and crushed her against him.

Oh, this was bad. This was _so bad_.

But it wasn't really. Nate's lips on hers actually felt quite nice—

_No_. Bad, this was bad. He was taken. He was dating one of her _friends_. His tongue teased her bottom lip and she whimpered before parting her lips. Oh God, she was a horrible friend, but she just couldn't seem to stop herself. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers dipped into his curls. He was kissing her like she'd never been kissed before. It almost felt like he couldn't get enough of her. It was addictive.

And just when she thought she was lost with no hope of coming back his hand slipped under the back of her shirt. That brought the reality of the situation crashing down. _Oh God no_. She gasped and ripped her lips away from his. She wiggled out of his hold. They stood there for a few minutes breathing harshly and staring at each other with wide eyes. Ella swallowed thickly and brought a hand to her swollen lips.

Nate looked away from her then and rubbed his brow. "I'm sorry, Ella. I—I didn't mean to…I don't know what happened."

"Nate, we just...we shouldn't have…you're still dating Dana," She stuttered.

He winced. "I know, _I know_. Look, let's just…pretend that didn't happen, okay? We never kissed. It _never_ happened. Alright?"

She nodded mutely before answering. "Never happened."

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but they both knew there was nothing else that _could_ be said. He nodded to her before he turned and walked briskly out the door. She shut the office door behind him and locked it. She sat down at her desk and hunched over it with her head in her hands.

_What the hell just happened_?

Ella felt her guilt bubbling to the surface. Her eyes stung with unshed tears and she shut them tightly. Peggy had warned her. She'd told her that being such good friends with a guy she'd been in love with for _years_ would not end well, but Ella hadn't listened. She liked having Nate in her life even if he was just a friend.

But that-_that_ shouldn't have happened. She should have stopped it. But she just couldn't help herself. She'd always wondered what kissing Nate would be like, and a part of her hadn't _wanted_ to stop him. That kiss was _incredible_. But it was wrong. Whether he felt anything for Dana or not he was _still_ dating her. They were _still_ a couple.

She'd just made out with unavailable _taken_ man.

She was one of _those_ women. She was Scarlet Johansson in _He's Just Not That Into You_. She was the _other_ woman. And a _terrible_ person. She took a deep breath and quickly gathered her things. She couldn't stay here now.

_No way_.

She walked out the door and briefly stopped by Lila's desk.

"Lila, I'm working from home today," Ella told her. "Forward all my calls to my cell. I'll see you tomorrow."

Lila didn't have time to respond. Ella was already halfway to the elevator. Ella returned home and locked all of her doors. She shut the blinds on her windows and closed all of her curtains. She needed to hide away for a while. She stopped in the middle of her living room and gulped.

The pictures were staring at her. They were all accusing her of the thing she _knew_ she was guilty of. She made the rounds around the house placed _every_ picture of anyone that knew her or Nate face down. She couldn't look at them right now.

Once that was done she breathed a sigh of relief. She curled up on her couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a cozy blanket. This was definitely a cookie dough ice cream moment.

She spent the rest of the night convincing herself it never happened. She could lie to everyone she knew. She _could_ and _would_ face them without shame…

Because that kiss _never_ happened.

* * *

Something was weird with Ella and Nate. Dana could tell. Nate had been _too_ attentive lately. Nate was a sweet guy, he was, but he was no where near as sweet as he had been the past couple of months. And she knew for a fact that Nate hadn't been to Ella's office in a very long time. Usually it was a weekly thing. He and Ella were very good friends. Dana didn't mind. She thought it was cute actually.

Nate and Ella had built up a very strong and understanding friendship. She got that. But lately, Nate hadn't gone near her and Ella had made herself scarce around him as well. Something was off. She knew Nate told Ella everything, and that if he was feeling awkward around her then something major must have happened.

Plus, Dana missed Ella. She'd only seen her when the entire group had gone out together, and even then Ella stayed far away. And Dana caught the way Nate stared sadly at her. He missed Ella too. There was no denying it. He pretended everything was fine when they were together, but she knew better.

It was to the point where Dana was beginning to wonder if there was something more than friendship between them. A part of her hoped there was because it would make the thing she'd been trying to do for _months_ much less painful for both of them. She would have done it before now, but Nate had suddenly turned into _superboyfriend_ on her and she lost all of her nerve.

Last night, she'd finally asked Nate why he and Ella seemed to be avoiding each other and he changed the subject on her. She wanted to _know_ because if it was what she thought it was then she could _finally_ break up with him. It would be an all too convenient solution.

Was she ridiculous for that? What kind of girl _wanted_ her boyfriend to be in love with someone else?

She tightened her grip on the fast food bag as she entered the studio. She was bringing Nate lunch. She paused when she heard hushed voices arguing in the hallway.

"Peggy, I am _not_ going in there."

"Ella, you have to get their opinions on those sketches."

"Fine, I'll give them to you and _you_ can take them in."

"That makes no sense. You're _here_ just take them to them."

"You said Nate wouldn't be here."

Peggy groaned. "What is _up_ with you and Nate lately? You're both being _very weird_."

"I just can't—I can't see him," Ella said sadly. "I _can't_."

"Why _not_? I thought he was your _best_ friend?" Peggy asked. Ella must have flinched or something because Peggy continued in a suspicious voice. "Something happened between the two of you, didn't it?"

"…No."

"Ella, don't make me go Brown Cesario on you. What happened?"

Ella whispered something Dana couldn't hear.

"You _kissed_ him? What were you thinking?" Peggy shouted.

"Geez, Peggy, could you be any louder? I don't think the people _across town_ heard you."

Dana gasped and dropped the bag of food in her hand. Ella and Peggy suddenly turned in her direction.

"Oh, _no_," Ella said with a groan before she walked toward Dana. "Dana? Oh God, Dana I am so sorry." Before Dana knew what was happening Ella had wrapped Dana in a crushing hug, and was mumbling frantic apologies. "It was an accident, I swear. He leaned down to kiss my cheek but I didn't know that's what he was doing and I turned my head to say something and then his lips were just…_there_." Ella winced. "Okay, well maybe that's not completely true. We might have pulled away for a second and then kissed again, but…_oh my God_, I need to _shut up_! Don't be mad at Nate, Dana. It was all me. Be mad at me, okay? I could have stopped it but I didn't."

Dana didn't know what to say. It stung to hear it, but…well she'd suspected it, hadn't she? She'd seen it coming, in a way. She was upset, but she wasn't mad or even sad. She _was_, however, more than a little disappointed that they'd hidden this from her.

Ella gulped and released her. "I know you probably hate me, right now. I don't blame you. I would hate me too. And you probably want to talk to Nate about this. And would probably prefer that I not be here." She paused and took a shaky breath. "So, I'm gonna go, but I want you to know…I'm _sorry_. I've felt absolutely terrible ever since. Really, I have. I've had to add several extra miles to my morning run to work off all the ice cream I've eaten. I—you know what? Nothing I say is going to make this any better. So, I'm just gonna get out of your way. _I'm sorry_."

Before Dana could say anything Ella had bolted down the hallway with Peggy hot on her heels. The guys had heard the commotion and Dana looked up to find three heads poking out of the studio door. Nate's eyes locked with hers and she glared at him.

"We need to talk."

* * *

_Can't be more obvious,  
She's in pain.  
Won't even let me in,  
From the rain._

_All the windows are locked again.  
She's afraid,  
Of everything that I have to say,  
To her face._

* * *

Ella ran to her car and didn't stop until she was safely inside. The shit had finally hit the fan. The only good thing about this was that she could stop lying. The lying is what bothered her the most. She felt like everyone could see through her, and that being seen with Nate would only make it worse. So she stayed away to keep up the lies.

The lies that had slowly been killing her.

Lying was not something Ella supported, and yet she'd somehow gotten caught up in a web of them. Ella had always been an advocate for honesty. Right now she felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world. She sped home and ignored all of Peggy's calls. She didn't want to talk right now.

She made it home and did the exact same thing she'd done two months ago. She locked herself inside her house and placed _all_ of her pictures face down. All of her friends were going to think she was a terrible person. She just _knew _it. She didn't bother with ice cream this time. She just curled up on her couch and cried.

She felt like the smallest person on the planet.

* * *

_So try to look in my eyes,  
And tell me you're not surprised  
Cause nothing is changing.  
Everyone has to lie sometimes.  
Do you know what its like to make up your mind?  
Don't be alarmed when sinners sin,  
While the world is spinning._

* * *

"You and Ella kissed and you _didn't_ tell me?" Dana asked as Nate shut the studio door behind them.

He closed his eyes. "It was a mistake. It never should have happened."

Dana rolled her eyes. "Quit lying to yourself, Nate. You don't think it was a mistake. I bet you don't even regret it as much as you've _convinced_ yourself you do."

"Dana—"

She smacked his arm. "You're an idiot! If you'd have just told me about that damn kiss I could have saved both you _and_ Ella a lot of pain!"

His jaw dropped and he stared at her in shock. "_What_?"

"I've been trying to work up the nerve to break up with you for _months_, idiot. It would have made it so much easier if I'd have known you were _in love _with Ella!"

"I'm not in love with Ella—"

"Save it, Grey," Dana snapped. "I've suspected it for nearly a month now. You stare at her when we're all together like she killed your puppy. You _miss_ her so much it hurts. And you know why you miss her that much, Nathaniel? Because you _love_ her."

"I can't love her. We've always been _friends_—"

"Oh, _shut up_," Dana said as she shook her head at him. "You fell _out of love_ with me pretty suddenly didn't you?"

He sighed guiltily but nodded.

"Then what makes you think you can't fall _in love_ just as suddenly?" Dana asked pointedly. "Look, honestly, I'm not mad. I'm a little sad and _very_ disappointed, but I'm not mad. I don't hate you and I don't hate Ella. I get it. There's no chemistry between us any more, I understand. Don't stop yourself from going after her, Nate, and _don't_ let her say no."

"What are you saying?" Nate asked her with a furrowed brow.

"I'm saying, we're done. We're over. _And_ I'm saying I want you to go after Ella."

"_What?_" Nate asked in confusion. "This isn't making any sense."

She smacked his arm again. "Since when has life made sense? _You_ need to get your ass up and go find Ella. She left here before I had a chance to talk to her and she looked _very_ upset. She's hurting more than me right now, Nate. She _needs_ you. Go."

Nate turned to Dana questioningly. "You're _really_ okay with this?"

She sighed and nodded. "I am. Now get out of here, jerk."

He smiled apologetically at her. "I'm sorry, Dana. None of this should have happened this way."

She shrugged and spoke up softly. "You can't change it now, Nate. Just go with the flow. That's what I'm gonna do."

* * *

_Can't be more obvious,  
I'm in pain.  
She won't even let me in,  
From the rain._

_And all the pictures in the frames are cracked,  
Cause she's afraid,  
Of everything they're gonna say,  
Behind her back._

* * *

Nate left the studio and tried calling Ella several times. She wasn't answering. So he tried Caitlyn and then Mitchie. They hadn't heard from her. They had no idea where she would have gone. He had one last number to try, and he _hoped_ Peggy knew something.

"Nate? Did you find her?"

"How'd you know I was looking?"

"You're Nate and Ella. Who else would be looking for her?"

"She's not answering anyone's calls."

"I know."

"Do you know where she went?"

"You know her just as well as I do, Nate. What do you think?" Peggy asked him with a sigh.

Nate thought about that for a moment before he finally made a decision. "Home. She'd go home."

Peggy made an affirmative noise. "Good luck."

He hung up with Peggy and redirected his car toward Ella's house. This whole situation they'd gotten themselves into was ridiculous. Dana was right. They _were_ stupid. They could have saved themselves a lot of heartache if they'd just come clean. But no, he'd had to suggest that they forget it. That they pretend that _amazing_ kiss had never happened. Pretending it didn't happen had led them both to do the one thing they _hated_ more than anything: _lie_.

And he knew that's what was upsetting Ella the most right now. They shared a hatred for lying and they especially hated lying to people they truly cared about. Which they had both been doing for the past two months.

He _needed_ to talk to her. To look her in the eyes and tell her it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

He reached her house and pulled into her driveway just in front of her garage. He stepped out of his car and felt a few rain drops land on his head. _Great_. Now it was going to rain. Nate jogged to the door and rang the doorbell. He knew the doorbell wouldn't work, but he had to try. He'd tried the doorbell one more time before he knocked. He knocked softly a couple more times before he called her name through the door.

"El? Ella! Open the door, please! It's Nate!"

* * *

_So try to look in my eyes,  
And tell me you're not surprised  
Cause nothing is changing.  
Everyone has to lie sometimes.  
Do you know what its like to make up your mind?  
Don't be alarmed when sinners sin._

_Don't be alarmed when winners win,  
While the world is spinning._

* * *

Ella stared at the door. She didn't move toward it. She simply stood on the other side of it and wiped her wet cheeks furiously. What was _Nate_ doing here? He was supposed to be begging for Dana's forgiveness. There was no way he was here with good news. Dana probably wanted him to stay away from her forever.

No, that didn't sound like Dana.

More than likely Nate thought they should keep their distance to make things easier for Dana, and he was here to break the news to her.

And to say goodbye.

Well, she wouldn't let him in. She didn't want to hear it. Her heart already hurt, she didn't need it to be _breaking_ too. She tried to walk away from the door and ignore it, but she couldn't. He called her name a few more times and then began to pound on the door.

"Ella! I know you're in there. Please! We need to talk!" he yelled as the pounding grew louder.

She heard the soft patter of rain against her roof and bit her bottom lip. She heard Nate curse and she knew it was probably pouring down rain. The pounding slowed down but it didn't stop.

Then suddenly it _did_ stop. And she could see Nate's shadow outside of one of her windows. Her brow furrowed as he made his way around her small house. He was hoping she'd left a window unlocked. Did he think she was stupid? She was a female that lived alone. She did _watch_ Lifetime, after all. She knew unlocked windows led to _bad_ things.

He came back to the door and began pounding again.

"Ella! Come on, I'm officially scared out of my mind now. You're worrying me. Just _talk to me_, please!"

She took a step closer to the door but didn't intend to open it. Instead she placed a hand on the flat surface of the wood and then leaned her forehead against it.

"I know why you're doing this, Ella. You're wallowing, aren't you? You hate yourself for lying," He said softly. It sounded as if he knew she'd leaned closer to the door. She heard him sigh before he continued. "I hate lying as much as you, but…Ella, everyone has to lie _sometimes_. It's not right, but we all have to on occasion. We did what we thought we had to do, El. I promise you things aren't as hopeless as you think they are."

She spoke before she could stop herself. "Nate…"

She could hear him shuffling around at the sound of her voice. When he spoke he sounded _very _relieved, "Ella!"

"I—I'll let you in on one condition…"

"Anything, Ella, what is it?" He asked eagerly.

"Promise me you're not here to say goodbye."

"I promise," He assured her. "I could never say goodbye to you, Ells. Never."

She reached for the lock with shaky hands and opened the door. The minute she did Nate wrapped her in a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around her back and he crushed her against his chest. He placed his head on her shoulder and breathed a sigh of relief.

"For a second, I thought you might have done something reckless. You—you weren't answering me and I couldn't hear you moving around through the door," He said with heavy emotion as he breathed in her scent. "Please, don't _ever_ do that to me again."

She closed her eyes tightly and then felt his clothing soaking her own and she gasped. "Oh my God, Nate…you're drenched. Oh, I'm so stupid. I left you out there in the rain!"

She started to pull away but he held her tighter. "Don't. Not yet. Stay for a bit longer."

She nodded and brought a hand up to the back of his head. She ran her fingers through his soaked hair for a few minutes as he held onto her. When she was sure he _had _to be freezing she spoke up again. "Nate, I need to get you a towel and a change of clothes. You're going to catch a cold."

He sighed and reluctantly let go. "You have clothes that will fit me?"

She nodded. "My brother left some stuff here last time he visited. You're about his size. Maybe a little shorter, but basically the same."

He chuckled. "Not even in the house for fifteen minutes and you've already started teasing me. Nice."

She couldn't help but smirk at that. "I wasn't actually _trying_ to tease you, but I'll take it."

He followed her to her small guest room and she stopped at the doorway and motioned him inside. "Top right drawer."

She turned to walk away and he grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"As soon as I'm in dry clothes, we're _going_ to talk. Don't try and get out of it, okay?" He said sternly. "We need to clear a few things up."

She nodded slowly. "Okay."

He brought her hand to his lips and placed a lingering kiss on her knuckles before he let go. She blushed and walked away to get him a towel from the hall closet. She heard the door click shut, and brought her hands up to feel her heated cheeks.

What in the world was going on? She was feeling slightly overwhelmed with the way Nate was acting. He was being so…_sweet_. Things better be over with him and Dana. No way she was dealing with _that_ guilt again. She pulled an old towel down and walked back down the hall to wait by the bedroom door.

The door opened and she immediately handed him the towel. He used it to ring out his hair and keep it from dripping down his back. Ella took his wet clothes and threw them in her dryer. They were probably going to have plenty of time to talk. His clothes were soaked all the way through.

She came back into the living room to find the towel draped over one of her dining table chairs and Nate stretched across her couch comfortably. She watched as he closed his eyes and rolled his neck and stretched his arms. He spotted her and smiled. He moved his legs and motioned to the spot next to him. "Have a seat."

She sat down and he grabbed her hand as she did so. "So, what do we need to talk about?"

"_Us_, Ella. We need to talk about us," Nate said with a small smile.

Ella's eyes widened. "There's an _us_? What about Dana?"

"Turns out Dana's been trying to break up with me for as long as I've been trying to break up with her," Nate said as his shoulders sagged. "She said she wished we'd have just come to her and talked about the kiss."

Ella's eyebrows flew upward. "What?"

"That's what I said," he told her as he nodded. "She actually helped me realize something tonight too."

Before Ella could ask what it was Nate had brought his lips down to cover hers. He pressed several short kisses to her lips as he slowly pushed her toward the other end of the couch. Suddenly she found herself stretched across her couch with Nate hovering over her. He pulled back for a moment, but it wasn't long before he found her lips again. This kiss was long and much more persistent, and without him even having to request it she'd parted her lips. A strangled growl rumbled in his chest as he settled in on the couch beside her and pulled her against him. Her hands were crushed against his chest but she managed to move them into his wet curls. Apparently Nate felt it was only fair if he returned the favor. His hands dove into her hair and massaged her scalp. She let out a whine and kissed him harder. Nate had somehow flipped them around and she now practically laying on top of him. His hand slipped underneath the back of her shirt and this time…Ella didn't pull away. She brought a hand out of his hair and slipped it underneath the collar of his white t-shirt.

With her chest pressed against his she could feel his heartbeat pounding just as hard as her own. They continued kissing for several more minutes until they're need for air overwhelmed them. The pulled apart and Ella rested her head on Nate's chest.

"Ella," He said as quietly as a breath. She looked up and rested her chin where her cheek had been. He kissed her forehead before continuing. "I love you."

She smiled slowly. "Is that what Dana helped you realize?"

He nodded. "She pointed it out."

Ella chuckled and breathed in a happy sigh. "I love you too, Nate. And I think I always will."


End file.
